Log in

No account? Create an account

Dec. 29th, 2013

Saigo no Love Song

Saigo no Love Song
The Last Love Song
No one knew that that song didn’t belong to Yamapi.

No one, except for the song writer, Yamapi, a few staffs, and the original owner of the song himself:

Kamenashi Kazuya

The curtain call announcement resonates
I’m sure you didn’t come back out
Back when we promised about how we
Didn’t believe this day would come

I loved that figure of yours when you tried your best for the sake of your precious dreams
Isaid “I’ll support you no matter when”
It was a habit, so I blame you as you out on a journey

I think I would have felt happier if I haven’t had fallen in love
That love song makes my heart warmer
Time and time again when I listened with you, the words pierce me
The song is too sad to listen to all alone…

Yamapi remembered the sweet voice slightly on the raspy side singing softly alone in the empty practice room.

It was getting dark, and Yamapi remembered how surprised he was seeing the lights still on from inside KAT-TUN’s practice room.

He remembered how petite the slender figure looked through the little crack of the unsealed door.

He remembered how shaky the soft voice sounded.

He also remembered how he thought that stupid song fitted Kazuya perfectly.

Yamapi closed his eyes and leaned on the wall next to the door. He listened to the voice inside, hearing how it trembles as the person inside desperately tried to finish the song. The thought of rushing in to pull the smaller boy into his arms and comforting the other person crossed his mind more than once, but every time Yamapi would remind himself that he can’t.

How can he when he’s nothing more than just a friend?

Nothing but a friend… and the best friend of the person Kazuya loves with all his heart.

The person Kazuya loves so dearly that he wanted to sing this stupid song for even if it drives him to the verge of tears…

Damn it…

The more Yamapi listened, the shakier Kazuya’s voice seemed to be. He heard the younger boy’s breathing became hitched, and Yamapi felt a tight squeeze in his heart so deeply that it all became numb.

Yamapi wanted to pull that small figure in to his arms, he wanted to shout out all of this disclosed feelings inside; he wanted that person in the practice room to finally realize that Yamapi is right here.

Here, like he has always been, and probably where he will always be.

This space here where it is close enough to see and be seen, but too far to do anything more than that.

It’s just a god-damned space Yamapi doesn’t want at all, not when his heart yearns for more.

Even though he knows perfectly well that it’s impossible to even wish.

The trembling singing became even more cracked, and Yamapi’s patience crumbled down when he heard a quiet sob follow through.

Before he knew it, his hands were already out and around the youngest KAT-TUN member, pulling the soft limbs into his chest...

Kazuya tensed up in his embrace, but then the younger man relaxed when he realized that the person in front of him was just Yamapi.

Kazuya curled into the warm body and cried even harder when Yamapi pulled him in closer.

No one said anything, and Kazuya let his tears flowed down Yamapi’s designer shirt, while Yamapi himself tightened his hug and stood still, offering a silent shoulder.

Of course, Yamapi can be whatever Kazuya wants.

Whether if it is a co-worker, a friend, a shoulder to cry on for a night,… no matter what it is, if Kazuya wants it then Yamapi is more than willing to play the part.


Yamapi let his hand moved up from the slim waist as he caressed the strands of honey-colored hair huddled near the crook of his neck; his nose took in a whiff of fruity shampoo. Everything reminded Yamapi of how beautiful the man in his arms is, and also how this angelic creature is not his.

It hurt like hell, but it also really didn’t matter. Like he said, whatever Kazuya wants, Yamapi is more than willing to comply.

Soon the sobbing ceased to a stop, but Yamapi still didn’t let go, and Kazuya didn’t move away.

“Were you listening to my song?” The words were mumbled against Yamapi’s chest. NEW’s leader hummed back an answer, and Kazuya asked another question back.

“How long were you listening?”

“Just a while… maybe from the beginning..”

“Hmm..” Kazuya’s pale hands left its owner’s sides and reached up to wrap around Yamapi’s body loosely. Yamapi could feel his heart beating harder and he wondered if the other person could feel it too.

“Thanks. Do you like it? This song,” Kazuya smoothly moved away from his arms. Yamapi saw how Kazuya was trying to get out of the contact and slowly let go.

“It was good. It suits you.”

“Desu yo ne,” Yamapi watched the KAT-TUN member’s lips crafted a small smile, “I thought so too. When I first heard it I decided right away that this is going to be my new solo song.”


“It is perfect isn’t it? It suits everything so perfectly… my thoughts, my feelings… all of that is so much like what is written in the lyrics that for a second there I actually thought that Johnny-san might have hired someone to write out a song based on my life,” Kazuya laughed, but there was so much emotion behind it that Yamapi could not bring himself to laugh along. Before he can think straight, Yamapi reached out and cupped a side of Kazuya’s face with his hand. The shorter man smiled sweetly and eyed Yamapi through his lashes.

“Because I’ve never said it… Stuff like this, I don’t know how to express in words… That’s why I thought that maybe if I sing it out in a song, then he’ll hear it. Then maybe he’ll understand how I feel… that I’m not okay at all.”


“Do you know? When Jin decided to leave he didn’t say a word to me, and I didn’t say anything to him too. We saw each other every day, but we never bring it up. A part of me wanted to believe that if we don’t talk about it then it’ll go away, but of course, life’s tougher than that,” The laugh came back again, and Yamapi resisted the urge to hold the other man tight again.

“…In the end Jin left, and I still haven’t said anything. I didn’t even went to the airport.”


“In the end we broke up without neither of us saying a word… and now when I decided to speak through a song I just have to get all emotional like a pregnant woman and can’t finish the song..”


“This wasn’t even my first practice. I’ve tried for what seems to be like forever, but I can never finish it,” Kazuya placed a soft smile on his lips; his smaller hands lay on top of Yamapi’s resting on his cheek before he pulled Yamapi’s hand away gently.

“…seems like it’s impossible already. I have to go into recording in a few days, and I can’t record if things are still like this. I already planned to find a new song if I can’t sing this song by today.”

Yamapi watched as Kazuya went around the room, collecting his belongings before stuffing everything in a bag in front of the mirror. The prettily crafted lips still moved around as the younger man speaks. When Kazuya finished packing, he stood in front of Yamapi once again.

“Thank you, Yamapi. Thanks for being here,” The pretty man smiled. Yamapi didn’t know if Kazuya’s “here” is the same as Yamapi’s meaning of “here” or not, but he smiled back and nodded.

“I’ve never left anyway.”

The other man’s eyes showed confusion, but if Kazuya was concerned about anything he didn’t say.

“I’ll see you later, Yamapi.”

Kazuya graced him with that sweet smile of his again before walking out of the room, leaving Yamapi alone in his same spot with a wrinkled sheet of music on the floor.

Saigo no Love Song
The Last Love Song

If it was Kazuya’s desire, Yamapi can be anything the younger man wants him to be.

Whether if it is a co-worker, a friend, a simple shoulder..

..or even a voice

For Kazuya, Yamapi can be anything.

Anything… including Kazuya’s voice.

No one knew that that song wasn’t originally Yamapi’s

Those who knew were only the writer, whom the staff contacted back when they confirmed that they wanted to use the song,

the original owner like Kamenashi Kazuya,

and the new owner like Yamashia Tomohisa…

Kazuya still remembered vividly how surprise he felt when he heard that Yamapi will sing that song.

He still remembered the second he heard the news for the first time.

He remembered that it was noon, the busiest time in the Jimusho.

He remembered standing in the narrow elevator between Junno and Koki as a couple of people, Nishikido Ryo and Koyama Keiichiro, walked briskly into the elevator.

“Ah.. seshiburi! It’s been a while ne, Nishikido-kun,” Junno, always full of energy, chirped at the newcomers. The person working so long in Osaka just nodded his greetings before stepping into the elevator and pressing for the 4th floor.

Are NEWS practicing today?” Kazuya turned to Koyama instead when Ryo still looked half-asleep and didn’t seem to be in a mood for small talk, which Koyama knew perfectly and offered an apologetic smile for KAT-TUN with a nod.

“Yeah… it’s more like a meeting though, since everyone is so busy these days, we’re just trying to figure out a schedule that would work for everyone.”

“That’s tough ne, Koyama-kun” Koki commented. Koyama laughed.

“Sou, but KAT-TUN is like that too ne; everyone is working really hard.”

A couple of small talk and polite sentences later, a beep rang out of Koyama’s phone and the guy from Osaka who stayed quiet all this time let out a grunt, catching everyone’s attention. Ryo glanced down at his phone and sighed like he was bored.

“Pi sent a mail,” Ryo told Koyama who was in the middle of fishing for his cell in random pockets, “He said he’ll be late. He has to record this new song or something.”

“Eh?” Koyama knitted his eyebrows, “For his solo album? I thought he had finished recording all the songs last week already”
Ryo just shrugged back indicating that he knows nothing,

“Yeah, but he said he wants to change one of the songs for a new one, so he’s in a hurry trying to record it.”

“I wonder what song it is… Yamapi’s going into so much trouble just to add it in,” Koyama mused.

“I’m going to mail back and ask,” Ryo punch in some buttons before his cell beeps almost immediately.

“Pi said he took out one of the songs he had written himself and add in a new song called…” The NEWS and Kanjani 8 member peered down at  the small letters in his cell.

“..Saigo no Love Song”

Kazuya turned to look at the speaker’s face while he was busy typing something back.

“What was the name again, Ryo-chan?”

“Hmm?” Ryo mumbled back without glancing up, “Saigo no Love Song. What about it?”

“N.. no, nothing,” Kazuya answered in a voice he didn’t recognized. Next to him, Koki raised his eyebrows and Junno, famous for being KY, opened his mouth and asked,

“Eh? Wasn’t Kazuya’s sol-”

“Junno,” Koki called out with a warning tone, causing the guy speaking to shut up most efficiently. The two NEWS members shot them a confused look, and Kazuya could only thank the universe when the elevator stopped at their floor. KAT-TUN said their goodbyes, and as they walked along the halls in such uncomfortable silence, Junno decided that the ban for speaking should be lifted.

“…That song. Wasn’t it Kazuya’s old solo song?”

“Yes,” The previous owner answered back quietly. Kazuya sensed the warmth from Koki’s fingertips as the rapper reached out for his hand, and Kazuya offered a smile.

“Yamapi heard me practicing the other day; he must’ve liked it.”

His other two friends stayed quiet. For a while, the only sounds they heard were the sounds of their footsteps, and Koki started the conversation slowly, carefully selecting and arranging his words.

“…Yamapi’s a good guy.”

“Hmm,” The group’s baby hummed back; it was like signaling Koki the green light and he continued.

“I think he’s doing this for you.”


“He’s doing this for you.”

“I know.”

After letting Koki talk for a few minutes, Junno started laughing. His big hands playfully slapped down the rapper’s shoulder.

“I think Kazuya got it,” The Prince of Smiles turned and smiled brilliantly at Kazuya, “Don’t forget to thank Yamapi ne, Kazuya.”

Kazuya decided to do as Junno told him, but because of their hectic schedules and he didn’t know when was the next time they’ll meet, his thanks was given through a mail instead.

‘I heard from Ryo-chan that Yamapi is using “Saigo no Love Song”?’

Yamapi replied within less a minute.


Kazuya looked at the one-word reply, amused, and he was about to reply when his cell vibrated and alerted him of a new mail. Kazuya opened it and found out that Yamapi sent him another text.

‘Sorry for not telling you first.
Is Kazuya angry?’

‘No, not angry. I just want to thank you.’

‘For stealing your solo?’

‘For doing this for me’

When Kazuya texted him that, Yamapi stopped replying for several minutes. The KAT-TUN member thought Yamapi wouldn’t reply anymore and their conversation would end like that, but almost five minutes later Kazuya’s phone vibrated again.

‘If it makes Kazuya happy then you’re welcome’

Yamapi knew that Jin has heard his new song when the solo artist called across the continents from L.A.

“Pi, where’s that song you wrote? The onone called Love Rhythm that you sent me the demo last time. I really want to hear it, why don’t you put it in?” Jin’s husky voice asked for the song that Yamapi arranged and wrote himself. Jin’s best friend even sent him the demo, asking for suggestions, which he gave and helped arranged with Yamapi. When Yamapi’s album came out, he was really excited to hear this song the most, but his best friend didn’t even put it in the album.

“I replaced it with a new song.”

“Saigo no Love Song? Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a great song and everything, but I still can’t believe it. You spent so much time making that song, giving it your all, and now you’re just replacing your handiwork with someone else’s? No matter how amazingly touching someone’s song is, I can’t imagine me pulling out my own song just to make room for it,” Jin kept complaining on and on so fast that Yamapi didn’t know when to interrupt.

“I still don’t know what came into you. You suddenly changed a song, and the genres aren’t even the same… Did you hit your head or fell down the stairs before recording?”

“Jin,” Yamapi interrupted exactly between the words “the” and “stairs”, but the other man just kept on babbling, not hearing the interruption.


“Hah? What?”

“I changed the songs because of Kazuya.”

That name seemed to do the trick; KAT-TUN’s ex-member stopped talking and Yamapi’s heart raced uncertainly about what Jin might do. He heard a soft sigh from the other side of the line.

“…I know. The minute I listened to it, I knew.”

“…Then what are you going to do?”

“Hmm? First, I’ll probably have to confess that I actually called you today to say thank you.”


“Thanks, Pi. Thanks for being Kazuya’s voice,” Yamapi heard Jin let out a bitter laugh, “Now that that’s done, I’ll probably try not to think about Kazuya, although that seems impossible to achieve.”

“Kazuya told me that you two broke up without talking.”

“He’s right… when I decided to go it was because the opportunity is here right in front of me. I was really excited, and I grabbed it so fast I didn’t spare any time to think about the consequences. When I finally think about them, I became scared, and I couldn’t dare tell Kazuya. He found out through the press conference on TV… after all that, I can’t blame him for breaking up.”

“But it’s still not late is it? He still loves you, and you’re obviously in love with him.”

“…if it was you, would you want to be with a guy who has scandals with different girls every week, can be found after hours in clubs partying, left the group, and, most importantly, left you to go solo?”

“You two are in love,” Yamapi insisted, “Shouldn’t that be enough? We all know that half of those scandals about clubs and girls weren’t even true. Kazuya knew that.”

“Sometimes only being in love isn’t enough.”


“Never mind, it’s about to be my scene and I’ll have to go on set. I just want to say thank you; if you want to listen more about my failed relationship just make sure you bring enough booze along next time.”

“You are really not going to talk to him?”

“If I talk it’ll only drag this whole mess on. Believe me; this is for the best, Pi. Kazuya deserves to be with someone better than me; someone who won’t only make him cry.”

“But isn’t the person who can make him smile also you?”

“…You know, making Kazuya smiles is the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“If that’s it th-”

“If that’s it then I should really get on set before the director decided he wants a new Chikara,” The other end of the line sounded weary, “…making Kazuya smiles is the best thing I’ve ever done, and I want to keep on doing that even if it means that we’ll be separated.”


“Thanks Pi. Thanks for singing that song for Kazuya, thanks for being there for Kazuya, thanks for loving Kazuya.”

“…you knew?”

“It’s not that hard to see isn’t it? Not when I’m also in love with him too,” Jin laughed again, “Hey, if it’s you then I’m okay with it. I know you’ll never break his heart.”

“Kazuya loves you, Jin. No matter what he’s still going to love you. If you just come back then everything would be the same.”

Then how long would it be before I’m going to have to choose between Kazuya and my dreams again? Before I do something without thinking and make him miserable again? Kazuya and I are walking on parallel roads, Pi. It doesn’t matter how hard we try, maybe everything was already decided by that old guy up there, Kazuya and I both knew that. Truthfully, I think that we’re both just waiting for that day when the old guy will break us apart.”


“I love Kazuya. I’ve never been sorry that I love him, and I’m never going to be sorry for loving him, that’s a fact. And another fact is that what we want is different. We both knew that it was impossible from the start, but we still forced it, hoping that if we ignore the issue it would just go away. Actually, I probably should thank that old man up there for letting us be together so long… anyway, I really should go. The staffs are probably printing out audition forms for a new Chikara right now.”

And Akanishi Jin hung up.

Yamapi met Kazuya again weeks after that. The pale body was sandwiched among KAT-TUN members in the small elevator. It was a known fact among those in Johnny’s Jimusho that after Jin and Kazuya broke up, T-TUN, who were already over-protective freaks over all things regarding their baby, upgraded their level of love and attention for their youngest member to a degree that Yamapi never knew was humanly possible. Whether would it be with baseball players like Sakamoto or Nishioka, with any co-actors or even those in Johnny’s themselves, T-TUN would act as Kazuya’s personal bodyguards, minimizing all sorts of “inappropriate behaviors” or attempts of flirtations directed to their baby to a zero. On screen flirting with KAT-TUN’s KA became a precious moment where people can hit on the group’s youngest member without fearing for Ueda’s punches or Koki’s death glare.

Like now, when Yamapi was about to get into the elevator, Kazuya’s personal bodyguards all went into action unconsciously it was almost scary. As soon as a third party, Yamapi in this case, walked into the scene, Junno who was killing zombies on his PSP immediately stepped up and stood between Yamapi and Kazuya without ever taking his eyes off the game.

Yamapi greeted the other four members who were looking up with a nod, which everyone returned with a simle.

From the corner of his eyes, Yamapi saw Koki, who was standing behind Kazuya, reached over and poked Junno hard.

“It’s okay. It’s just Yamapi.”

The whisper wasn’t loud, but in this cramp elevator Yamapi could hear every word and could not help but felt offended when the rapper said “Just Yamapi.” Yuichi gave him a small apologetic bow while Kazuya and Ueda shared amused grins.

“Eh? Oh, it’s just Yamapi?” Junno finally looked up from his game and smiled his signature smile. The tall man moved back to stand next to Koki, leaning against the walls and leaving the spot next to Kazuya wide open. As Yamapi was still puzzling over what “Just Yamapi” means, Kazuya inched in closer, and Yamapi felt his heart beating faster just over the soft arms touching his lightly.

“Sorry for those two. They don’t mean anything bad though; sometimes the guys are just concerned,” The beautiful man smiled, sweet and always so enchanting. He was whispering, trying to make it so that only the two of them could hear it, but it was impossible in this tight space. Nevertheless, Yamapi noticed that when Kazuya started to talk, Junno turned on the sound effects on his PSP, while Koki and Yuichi started talking about some random dorama with Ueda jumping in the conversation from time to time.

“Everyone’s talking very good care of you,” Yamapi observed, and, if it was possible, Kazuya’s smile got even prettier.

“Because KAT-TUN aren’t just members; we’re family,” Kazuya whispered back. Yamapi returned a smile, and he noticed that even though they’re trying not to listen, the members must have heard every word, or else Junno wouldn’t be smiling so brightly when his game declared him a loser. The other three members also looked happy, with Koki’s ears being exceptionally red, Ueda putting his head on Yuichi’s shoulders, and Robamaru shared a grin.

“I bought your album too,” Kazuya was saying next. He sounded like a little child bragging about his new toy, and it took everything for Yamapi not to snatch him up and tell him how adorable he’s acting.

“I listened to that song too. It’s really pretty; you sung it exactly like how I would want it to sound.”

“If it doesn’t disappoint you then it’s good enough for me.”

“Not disappointing one bit. I’m really happy; thank you, Yamapi,” hearing such cute words, Yamapi couldn’t resist any more. He stretched out his hands and ruffled Kazuya’s soft strands of hair until KAT-TUN’s baby yelled out.

“Yamapi! I spent a lot of time taming that! Koki!” When Yamapi doesn’t stop the smaller man called for backup. Koki laughed and pinched Kazuya’s cheeks gently.

“Relax, we’ll get to our floor soon. When we’re in the dressing room I’ll do your hair for you, okay?”

“…can you pull it back and tie it?”

“I can do everything, now stop whining,” Yamapi thought he heard Kazuya mumbled something along the lines of, “I don’t whine”, but soon the smaller man was laughing when Yamapi pulled his bangs up like how they used to do during their drama. Soon the elevator door opened, and Fujigaya Taisuke who just entered the space shot one glance at his senpai’s hair and burst out laughing, signaling Kazuya to go over and destroyed the hair stylist’s handiwork on Fujigaya’s head.

Ding… the sound indicated that they reached the 5th floor. KAT-TUN walked out, along with Kazuya and Koki who were laughing with Fujigaya and messing up each other’s hair. Before the elevator door closes once again, those beautiful brown orbs locked into Yamapi’s. That pretty smile of his that Yamapi loves so much spread out on Kazuya’s face again, and Kazuya said,

“Thank you. Let’s go out and eat together sometime, Yamapi, just give me a call.”

Yamapi thought back to that smile and he’ll always think of Jin’s words.

‘Making Kazuya smile is the best thing I’ve ever done.’

Yamapi understand immediately. When Kazuya smiles, Yamapi would feel that everything he’d done, everything he’d given up for that smile was so worthwhile, and he wouldn’t hesitate to do anything to keep that smile on Kazuya’s face.

Even if there’s some loneliness under that beautiful smile, and even if Yamapi is not confident at all if he can help Kazuya overcome the past of Akame or not, but Yamapi doesn’t care.

Kazuya doesn’t have to forget Jin.

Kazuya doesn’t have to love Yamapi.

Kazuya doesn’t even have to care.

If only Kazuya would keep on smiling like that..

Just like that… and no matter what it takes, Yamapi would be willing to give.

No matter what it takes, Yamapi would be willing to be.

Just for Kazuya.

Time and time again when I listened with you, the love song feels distant
Being alone is too sad
Even so, I’m glad that I met you

- Saigo no Love Song / Yamashita Tomohisa

Sep. 29th, 2013

Ultimate Wheels (AKA "The One Where Kame Stop Eating and Everyone Freaks Out)

Title: Ultimate Wheels (AKA "The One Where Kame Stop Eating and Everyone Freaks Out)
Pairing: Kame-centric; There's Pikame, a one-sided MatsuKame, and a teeny tiny Akame if you squint really hard
Genre: Fluff and crack
Summary: Kame stopped eating, so KAT-TUN alerted a "Code-Red Crisis" in the Jimusho

Author’s Note: I'm not a native English speaker, and this is my first fic ever in English! So I'm sorry if my grammar is plainly horrid, and I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to comment; I'll really love to see comments, feed backs, and suggestions on how I can make this better!

It was Taguchi who first noticed it.

“Have you lost weight, Kame?”

Just like that, all hell broke loose.

Nakamaru looked up from his script in hand and scanned KAT-TUN’s Ka up and down his body twice. Then again. Then once more, just for good measure. He resisted the urge to face-palm or hit himself for not noticing Kame’s well-being.

Or for having it been Taguchi, of all people, to notice it, for that matter.

Koki must have been thinking similar thoughts because he quickly rushed up to Kame’s side, let his hands do a full body check on the younger man’s proportions, and exclaimed, “You’re really thinner! Taguchi! How could Taguchi noticed it and I didn’t? Taguchi! I’ll take you out for dinner later. Taguchi!”

Nakamaru was half wondering whom Koki was taking out for dinner, Taguchi or Kame.

Ueda closed his book and glanced up at Kame very much like how Nakamaru has done earlier.

“Have you been skipping meals again, Kame?”

Ueda has a dangerous tone in his voice, but Kame just rolled his eyes and shrugged. He pursed his lips slightly in a way that showed how he was annoyed of their fussing but was polite enough to try to suppress it.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m just really busy with Bem and Ore, Ore these days. Sometimes I forgot to eat.”

Oops, wrong answer.

If he had answered with something like, “I’m on a diet and have been eating veggies-nabe three times a day for the past three weeks,” then they might let him off, but Kame forgetting to eat is just unacceptable.

Unacceptable, I tell you.

Nakamaru finally face-palmed himself, Taguchi stared and, along with Koki, let out a noise that Nakamaru thought sounded way too much like a sob. Ueda, who looked as though Kame announced he had cancer, stood up.

“This is definitely a code-red.”

Then, if possible, all hell broke loose again.

After they sent Kame off with coupons to various buffet restaurants and Koki yelled at the dance instructor for being inconsiderate, the remaining KAT-TUN members alerted the Jimusho of their code red crisis.

“Oi, Hime,” Ryo grumbled, “This better be a real code red. Last time anyone called for a code red, it was over stolen onigiri and misplaced pants.”

“Oh, this is real alright,” Ueda glared back. He actually paused for effect. “Kame’s not eating.”
The reaction was identical to those of the KAT-TUN members when they found out Kame forgot to eat.

Nakamaru swore he saw some juniors blinking tears. KAT-TUN’s beatboxer assumed that they’ve all heard way too much about Kame during his Nobuta times when he weighed roughly 40 kg.

“Again?” Yamapi asked worriedly, “Is he overstressed again?”

The KAT-TUN members felt like they’ve been slapped. The last time Kame stopped eating was during their Nobuta times, when he was stressed out about how KAT-TUN doesn’t like the fact that Kame debuted as Shuji to Akira; now Yamapi was implying that they are the reason for his loss of appetite again.

“Hey, we all grew up from then. We took care of Kame well enough,” Koki shot back. Yamapi looked weary.

“I wasn’t trying to point the finger. I just wanted to know what caused this.”

Nakamaru stepped in.

“Kame said he has a busy schedule recently. He forgot to eat.”

“If it’s his work and his schedule then isn’t there really nothing we can do about this?” Yabu actually raised his hands.

“Yeah, we can’t really go around changing his schedule and dropping out his work, right?” Shige frowned.

Yoko shook his head violently and stood up from his spot.

Everyone stared. Nakamaru just sighed.

This whole thing is getting overly dramatic by the second, really.

As if to prove his point, Yoko put one foot over his chair and stared into the distance.

“But we can’t let this pass! We’ve got to fix this!”

And fix it they did.

Hey! Say! JUMP

Kame knew something was off when Hikaru settled himself on Kame’s lap.

“What,” Kame asked with the type of patience one would use when dealing with the insane, “Are you doing, Hikaru?”

“Maa… Kamenashi-kun kept talking about how Yabu and I used to sit on your lap when we were younger ne? I sort of missed that.”

Kame decided he should be very careful of what he said in public from now on.

Back during their junior days, Yabu and Hikaru would race over to KAT-TUN’s dressing room, yelling “Kamenashi-kun! Kamenashi-kun!” at the top of their lungs. When they arrived, they would fought over who get to sit on his lap. It was usually first come, first serve.

Kame thought it was awfully cute when they were as tall as his waist, but now at the age of twenty-something and way taller than Kame, Hikaru sitting on his lap was anything but cute.

Kame caught Hikaru’s eyes, and the younger man grinned even wider.

Okay. Maybe it is a little bit cute. Just a tiny bit.

“It’s lunch time,” Kame remarked, “Aren’t you going out for lunch?”

“Ah, Jump is eating in today! We all bought our own lunch!” The cheerfulness in his voice reminded him of Taguchi, “Say, Kamenshi-kun, why don’t you join us!”

“Eh? I’d love to, Hikaru, but I didn’t bring my lunch today.”

“That’s alright! I actually bought two sets of bento this morning, just in case someone forgot. You can have one of mine!” Hikaru jumped out of his lap, “I’ll go get it. Chinen, won’t you sit on him for me?”

Before Kame could react to that last request, Jump’s smallest member hopped up on his lap, flashing a bright smile.

“Actually, I bought and extra set of bento with me today as well. Won’t you eat it too?”

“Eh?” With Chinen’s image, Kame was half expecting a Happy Meal full equipped with free toys. He was kind of disappointed when the Hey! Say! JUMP member handed him an ordinary lunch box set from the station.

“Ah, what a coincidence!” Yamada approached his senpai with a homemade bento in hand, “I had so much fun cooking this morning and got a little carried away. Kamenashi-kun, won’t you eat my bento too?”

He placed the bento on top of the one from Chinen in Kame’s hand. Kame stared in astonishment as Hikaru came back from wherever he was before and put his own bento on top of Yamada’s.

“Here’s mine!”

“That’s really funny,” Takaki walked out of nowhere, “My mom happened to pack me an extra onigiri today. Please have mine too, Kamenashi-kun.”

Before lunch was over, Kame was balancing nine bentos back to KAT-TUN’s dressing room. He mumbled something about not being able to finish all of them, and Nakamaru smiled into his script.

Later, while he was playing an online game with Yamada and Chinen, Nakamaru decided to let the Hey! Say! JUMP members win.


Kame was watching a cooking show when Koyama burst open the door. The KAT-TUN member averted his eyes from the delicious looking gyoza dish on screen to the NEWS’s mother figure with abnormally small eyes.

“Ah! Kame-chan!” Tegoshi squealed as he come running past Koyama and hopped onto Kame’s lap. Kame shot Koyama a look for help, but the latter just smiled apologetically.

“I think you’ll find it easier to just go along with him ne, Kame-chan.”

Kame sighed. He wondered what in the world is it with people sitting on his lap.

“Ne, ne, Kame-chan,” Tegoshi was half squealing and half shouting, “NEWS are having a picnic! With a blanket and a basket and everything! Won’t you come with us too?”

Kame blinked. He thought Tegoshi sounded way too much like his character in Yamato.

Blast the kid for knowing he had a soft spot for cuteness.

“I.. I don’t know. Picnics are not really my thing…”

“Ehhh?!” Tegoshi was shouting now. Oh great. “But I really, really, really, really, really, really want to go with Kame-chan!”

Kame wondered if refusing Tegoshi is a sin.

“Please? PleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePlease?”

He glanced up from Tegoshi’s face to those of the other NEWS members. Koyama was smiling politely, waiting for an answer, Shige looked apologetic, and Masuda was hugging an enormous box that had the word “GYOZA” scribbled across the front.

Oh hell, he was in the mood for gyoza anyway.

He grinned like a lunatic when he saw Kame having a picnic in the park with NEWS. Massu was talking animatedly to Kame about something, Koyama was piling food on his plate, Shige was offering smiles and eating politely as he tried to reign Tegoshi in, and Tegoshi, of course, draped himself all over Kame amd was talking with great expression over Massu’s voice.  Nakamaru smiled wider as he glanced over to the figure who has been watching Kame next to him, or rather, was watching Kame long before Nakamaru joined him.

“He seems to be enjoying himself ne, Tat-chan,”  Nakamaru commented. A soft smile made its way on Ueda’s lips as he answered.

“It’s nice to see isn’t it? Him laughing and eating properly.”

“Yeah, it really is.”



“..if I hear you cracking jokes or bringing up my member-ai moment, my fist will touch your nose. Is that clear?”

“Hai. Very. Crystal.”

And Nakamaru Yuichi never mentioned the conversation above to anyone ever.

Kanjani 8

“You are not going to sit on me as well, are you?” Kame asked suspiciously.

Yokoyama just blinked.

“Why would we do that?”

“Is that a trend in Tokyo now?”

“Oh! It’s in!”


“No! Sitting on someone is NOT a trend in Tokyo, and I doubt it would ever be,” Kame shouted over the chaos and rubbed his temples. Yasuda cocked his head to the side.

“Then why did you asked?”

“Because it just seems to be the thing people tend to do these days,” The KAT-TUN member sighed. He looked at the bunch of people crowed in his dressing room wearily and, to his fear, saw Subaru and Ryo locked eyes with each other.

And smirked.

No words can describe how much Kame hated that smirk.

“That sounds like a challenge,” Ryo mused.

“An invitation, really,” Subaru continued.

“no, it’s not,” Kame snapped back, “But while we’re on that note, aren’t you all here to invite me to eat with you?”

“Eh? You knew?”

“Oh, please,” KAT-TUN’s baby rolled his eyes, “After I told KAT-TUN I forgot to eat, Hey! Say! JUMP drowned me in their bentos and NEWS took me to a picnic; it wasn’t that hard to put two and two together.”

Murakami scratched his head.

“Jaa… well, do you want to come over to this new tagoyaki place with us?”

“I promise I won’t let Ryo or Subaru sit on you,” Yokoyama added.

A while later, Nakamaru received a mail from Koki.
I went to this new tagoyaki place near the jimushou with Juri.
Saw Kame there with Kanjani too. They were really noisy and annoying.
KAT-TUN should go together next time and be way louder than them!


PS. What the heck is Yasuda doing on Kame’s lap?

He even attached a picture of Yasuda sitting on Kame’s lap, looking ridiculously happy, while Kame himself was pushing the Kansai man off with his chopsticks. The rest of Kanjani were balancing tagoyaki on Kame’s plate, making some sort of tower. Or maybe they were playing Jenga with it.

Nakamaru smiled into his phone and forwarded the attachment to Ueda.


“I can’t believe you’re a part of this too,” Kame remarked dryly as the five members of Arashi marched into his apartment.

“This is our cute kohai’s well-being we’re talking about! Of course we’ll have to be part of it!” Nino chirped.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Aiba claimed in.

Ohno settled in a seat drowsily, while Sho joined Nino and Aiba in the art of talking all at once and confusing the hell out of the host. Amidst all this, MatsuJun, ever the drama queen, tsked from behind the rest of the group, holding a large, expensive cutlery Kame has been eyeing for ages but never had the excuse to waste money and buy it.

Jun saw Kame looking at the dish and smirked.

Kame swore the man just smirked at him for eyeing cutlery.

“It’s pasta. Carbonara made with three kinds of cheese and trifles.”

God, apart from the pretty plate, Arashi’s diva actually managed to put something that makes Kame’s mouth waters in it.

Jun walked past Kame into the kitchen like he owned the place. When the younger man tried to help out, his sempai just rushed him out, saying he’ll get in the way.

“I can cook too, you know,” Kame sulked on the sofa next to Ohno. Arashi’s leader chuckled and patted his head lightly.

“Jun just want you to rest.”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s a perfectionist and he’s just afraid I’ll mess up his perfect carbonara on his perfect plate.”

“He is a perfectionist,” Sho agreed from the seat across, “but believe me, he’s not afraid you’ll mess up his food.”

Nino smiled from the floor next to Aiba, Ran-chan and Jelly-chan bouncing happily in front of them, his eyes glinted.

“How can you mess up the dish you wrote the recipe for, Kame-chan?”


If possible, the sparkle in Nino’s eyes shone even brighter.

“Carbonara… three kinds of cheese… trifles… Ohno’s thank you gift for the painting… ring any bells?”

The bells rang alright; Kame let his mouth forms a little “o” as he remembered the dish he made for Ohno as thanks for the painting the older man gave him. It was carbonara made with three types of cheese and trifles.

Kame also remembered how Arashi’s leader asked him for the recipe afterwards.

The look their kohai was offering to Ohno was almost accusing.

“You said you wanted to make it on your own!”

“I did want to make it on my own,” Ohno shrugged, “It’s just that I never had to because Jun always make it.”

“I can’t believe you asked the recipe for him!”

“Well, with that amount of nagging, I really can’t imagine how Ridaa could refuse,” Aiba said dryly. Nino just snickered while Sho bit in a laugh.

“I know; it was almost painful to watch. Our little Jun going against his nature and actually begged…”

“If I knew Kame-chan has that effect on him, I would have done something ages ago…”

“It’s such a shame we only discovered this now..”

“…And it would be such a shame if Arashi will have to go on hiatus because four of its members are seriously injured,” A voice added from behind, and Kame almost jumped out of his seat. The remaining members of Arashi just smiled as they turned their heads to get a glimpse of the group’s youngest member who was looking furious.

“Ah.. Jun-kun,” Nino flashed his sweetest smile, and Kame shivered.

“We were just telling Kame-chan all the great things about you!”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, like I’ld believe that,” Jun rolled his eyes then he just sighed and turned to Kame.

“Dinner’s ready. We should eat it now before it gets cold.”

As Jun returned to the dining table he was setting, Kame thought he saw the tiniest hint of red on the tips of the other man’s ears.

And so when MatsuJun complained about how the cutlery is heavy and not even pretty enough for him to bother carrying back home, Kame smiled into his carbonara. The smile widened when he heard the Arashi member say briskly that if Kame doesn’t mind its ugliness and eats all the carbonara on his plate, Jun’ll let him keep the cutlery.

A few days later Nakamaru visited MatsuJun, and he was deeply surprised to see the dinning set MatsuJun once said was his favorite gone.

“What happened to it?” Nakamaru asked curiously. He remembered actually being there when Jun bought it;

Jun was eyeing two sets of plates, comparing the two side by side. Then Nakamaru decided to step in and offered his opinion.

‘I like the left one better. The right one is a bit too fancy for me, but it’s something Kame would definitely go for though.’

Apparently Nakamaru’s professional comments about cutlery failed, because Jun pondered for a few more seconds and went immediately for the one on the right.

“I gave it away,” Jun said simply, but that just made Nakamaru more curious.

“Gave it away? I thought it was your favorite set.”

“I decided it was too ugly for my taste.”

Nakamaru was confused, but then Kame sent him a photo of a very familiar set of cutlery and several more lines of bragging and emojis.
Yucchi!!! Look at my new plates! I’ve been wanting them since FOREVER!
They’re pretty ne~~~
The next time you come over, I’ll definitely make something for you and serve it on these plates!
Nakamaru was laughing his ass off inside when Jun continued talking about how the plates were just too ugly for him.

Yamashita Tomohisa

Kame didn’t know what to think when he saw Yamapi in front of his door with a bouquet of flowers.

So instead Kame just stared, and Yamapi cleared his throat.

“I’m here to take you out for dinner.”

“Hai?” Kame blinked. Yes, Yamashita Tomohisa was still there in his vintage jeans, a t-shirt, and a fashionable vest. Oh, and the roses too.

The KAT-TUN member looked down at his sweats and wondered if it could get anymore awkward than this.

“I’m here to take you out for dinner,” Yamapi smiled; he winked playfully at Kame, and the younger man can’t help but smile back.

“And I suppose the flowers are for me too?”

“Of course! A date couldn’t begin without some pretty flowers for a beautiful man ne?” Yamapi handed Kame the white roses. He blushed slightly at Yamapi’s words.

“Arigatou, Yamapi,” Kame answered. He hugged the flowers close to his body and wondered why the little petals made his chest warm all over.

“I’ll go put these in the vase and change. Why don’t you come in first? Just make yourself at home ne,” Kame told the older man. Yamapi nodded and walked in, settling himself on the couch.

The evening was more fun than Kame had expected. Yamapi reserved a table at a high-end traditional Japanese cuisine, a private table at that, and so the two of them were soon laughing and talking to their hearts’ content without having to worry about people watching. Somewhere between the ‘have-you-heard’s’ and ‘do-you-remember’s’, Kame realized they were leaning so close to each other that their legs were tangled.

He glanced up and saw the solo artist’s face inches away from his.

Yep. The distance was close, alright.

The younger one can feel his face burning, and Yamapi laughed at Kame’s sudden shyness.

“Nande? Kazuya?”

“..Nothing, it’s just,” Kame bit his lip, “Don’t you think we’re sitting too close?”

Yamapi smiled, and something in his chest fluttered.

“Hm..?” Yamapi hummed. The sound was husky and warm and Kame wondered if it has always been like that.

“I think we can still be a bit closer.”

And then Yamapi closed the distance between them.

“That,” Taguchi pointed, “is not your shirt, Kazuya.”

All eyes turned on the youngest member of the group, and he blushed.

“Why is it always Taguchi who notices things about Kame these days?” Koki wondered out loud and Kame just glared.

“He’s right, though,” Ueda confirmed as he squinted at the shirt in question “That is definitely not your size.”

“A bit too big,” Koki observed, “and too wrinkled.”

“It’s not even his style.”

“Not his preferred color either.”

After a while of Ueda and Koki critiquing his shirt, Kame decided he finally had enough.

“Alright. It’s not my shirt. What’s the big deal?” He mumbled, and the rest of the group grinned.

“The big deal is,” Koki purred into his ear as the rapper draped himself all over the youngest member, “We are dying to know who managed to take you back home last night.”

“That’s none of your business!”

“Of course it is, we’ll have to know who he is before we can decide if we approve or not.”

“I can date who ever I want!”

“Ooooh,” Taguchi voiced out from the other corner, “You’re dating? Is it serious?”

Kame stared, mouth gaping as he realized the mistake he had done.

Oh, crap.

Nakamaru who had stayed quiet this whole time just chuckled to himself, wondering when would be the right time to tell the rest of the group that he saw Yamapi driving their youngest member to the Jimusho that morning.


“Oh, is it your turn to babysit me already?” Kame asked sarcastically, and Koki just laughed.

“You can act a little happier, you know.”

“I’m just tired,” Kame mumbled “I’ve been dealing with this for five days already, you know.”

“We know,” Nakamaru smiled, “That’s why we’re taking you to an onsen.”


“Onsens, baths, sauna.. You like that stuff right?”

“Yeah, I do. But really?”

“Really.” Ueda said firmly, and Kame broke out in smiles, causing the rest of the group to smile along. They watch the youngest man practically skipped to his room to pack, and Koki chuckled.

“I’ve got to admit, sometimes the things you come up with are perfect, Nakamaru.”

Kame has always been the serious one; the most mature during most times.

So whenever he acted his age and cling to the other members, asking subtly to be pampered, they are more than willing to baby him.

But it always turned out to be embarrassing though, since the chance to baby Kame doesn’t come around a whole lot, the group always take things too far.

And getting questioned by the cops or having a member of the group (*cough*Koki!) yelled at a dance instructor or a producer are not things Kame wanted to see. Again.

So even though he was excited about the onsen trip, Kame was nervous and he had his doubts, but then Ueda who was sitting next to him in the car would laugh and pat his hand.

“Relax already. It will be great this time, I promise.”

Then they got out of a car at a nice, small onsen Kame remembered seeing Ueda went to on TV. The whole place was reserved just for them, and Kame’s excitement returned.

After a meal full of Kame’s favorite things practically spoon-fed to him by Koki, Kame can’t help but thought that being pampered like this is not so bad after all. Then Ueda massaged him, telling him all about the spots here and there that Kame should get pressed. Taguchi came with some coffee-milk for Kame; they played a few arcades at the onsen, and Kame beamed when the taller guy handed him all his prizes with a big smile.

“Are? He fell asleep,” Koki said. They were in one of the feet spas, the one where you just sat there and soothed your feet in the warm water. It was an outdoor one at that, so they were just sitting there, talking (about any and everything; the topic ranges from “for our next live” to “the Chinese place Kame liked but no one knows where it is”) and looking at the stars. T-TUN turned and looked at their youngest member dozing off between the group’s two T’s.  

“Let him sleep. It has been a long week for him,” Ueda said before letting out a yawn.

“I’m actually getting sleepy as well.”

“It’s late; I think we should all turn in,” Taguchi suggested after glancing at his watch. Nakamaru nodded.

“You guys go ahead. I’ll carry Kame up to his room.”

“Okay chief,” Koki elbowed him teasingly, “Careful though; he’s not as light as he used to be.”

The eldest member just smiled.

“He isn’t, but he’s always going to be KAT-TUN’s baby, and I’m always going to be able to carry him.”

Akanishi Jin

It was already the seventh day since everyone fussed over him. Kame sat in his strangely quiet living room and wondered if he should actually wait for something to happen or just carry on with his life. Kame thought about that Chinese place he really liked but doesn’t know where it is. Jin had brought a take-away for him back when Kame was filming Kami no Shizuku, and no matter how much Kame begged, Jin just won’t tell where the place is. Kame even tried to google the place, but nothing comes up; when Jin left the secret of the Chinese restaurant just went with him, and Kame had never eaten it since.

Maybe he should ask Yamapi about it.

Suddenly the doorbell rang, and the person he was just thinking about was behind the door.


“Yamapi,” Kame smiled, “What brings you here?”

“Well, I’m actually here on a delivery. A very fat, idiotic friend of mine asked me to give you this,” The older man handed him a bag, and Kame accepted it curiously.

“Oh? Is that it?”

“I also have many hugs and kisses and many other intimate things I want to give you, but I thought you might want to deal with the things in the bag first.” Yamapi grinned as Kame blushed a deep red. He looked inside the bag and his eyes widen.

“…Akanishi asked you to bring this to me?”


Of course he did. No one else could have known where the Chinese take-out he brought here came from.

Oh, and is that a letter in there next to the chopsticks?

Kame opened the letter in question so cautiously that Yamapi had to stifle a laugh.

He remembered the hand writing. Kame didn’t think he would after all this time, but the swiggles and loops every now and then brought back all the secret note passing during meetings. It wasn’t written very neatly, but Kame knew he writer thought hard on it.

He can almost picture Jin writing it, erasing the bits and pieces from time to time, losing the eraser he was using, biting his lips debating if he should really give it to him.

It’s sweet, really.

Kame traced the words with his fingers before he began to read.


Hey, how are you?

Okay, that’s a stupid question. Of course you’re not really alright; the guys are worried sick about you not eating. I know everyone is just overreacting, but they are just really worried, you know? We all are.
I know we haven’t spoken much lately, but I’m all ears if you ever get sick of the guys blabbing nonsense. Just call. I’ll pick up; I know how much you missed having someone as intelligent as me to exchange words of wisdom.

Oh, and I heard you and Pi are together. Whaaat? I can’t believe it took Pi that long to make a move on you!

Ne, tell me if he ever behaves like an ass (like he always does to me), won’t you? I’ll definitely kick his ass for you; I hope you know I’ll always have your back.

I meant that you know? No matter what happens, I’ll always have your back, Kazuya.


P.S. No, I won’t tell you where I got the food. Stop pestering me about it and eat already.

When Kame went to sleep that night, he dreamt of many, many strange things.

The dream started with him falling into a hole, then he was greeted by nine very talkative bunnies who kept offering him carrots and cried when he refuses to take it. Then while he was walking with the bunnies, they were surprised by a group of very energetic teletubbies. After an encounter with a pack of hounds who talked in Kansai-ben, the yellow hound kept telling Kame to take the keys and open the “god dammed door that will led to magical Osakan sexiness”. Kame gave in and eventually opened the door, and met five unicorns. Then he met a prince, who was apparently taking care of the unicorns. Stranger things happened, and the monkey he met after that told him he won’t approve of some fairytale love until he sees a kiss, which somehow led to a bickering between the cat and the yellow hound about fairies and height differences.

When Kame thought he was about to lose it with this dream, a golden retriever appeared out of nowhere, and it said he shouldn't worry about a thing and that it’ll have his back.

In the dream, Kame smiled. He patted the retriever’s head and answered.

“I knew you would.”

December 2013



RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com